President Obama announced his nomination for the Supreme Court yesterday. He chose Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Judge Sotomayor’s early years were quite humbling. She lived in the South Bronx in the inner city in the Bronxdale Housing projects; her father died before she reached her teens, and her mother struggled to raise her and her brother. The odds of her graduating from high school were pretty low. Graduating from Princeton University at the top of her class would not even seem statistically probable. Betting on a Puerto Rican girl from the South Bronx becoming a judge who is up for nomination to the US Supreme Court might certainly seem like a shoo-in for the opposer. However, Judge Sotomayor didn’t concern herself with the odds that were stacked against her, she focused on her goals. I doubt that her goal was to become the first Hispanic appointed to the US Supreme Court, but as she worked on the dream of becoming a judge, her expectations and her options changed.
Our purpose is often beyond the realm of what we can imagine, dream or expect. As such, we have to strive for excellence in everything that we do. When we do our best and reach the goals that we have set for ourselves, we have to take a brief moment to reflect with humility on who we were and where we came from, to celebrate who we have become and where we are, then we must look ahead to see who we were born to be and what we have to do to get there. With each step the path gets a little clearer, but clarity is not to be confused with easy or less intricate. The path ahead is never straight, there are always twists and turns and forks in the road that call on us to make the right decisions and choices.
Long ago, when she was a young girl living in a poverty stricken environment, Judge Sotomayor decided that she wanted something better for her future. She found a goal and a dream that she was willing to work towards with a commitment that spanned decades. She did the hard work from day one. She strived for excellence in education. She understood that education was her way out of her situation. Although it wasn’t easy, she chose the path of “excellence”, not the path of “average.”
What she did yesterday matters more today than she could ever have imagined. Her choices, relationships, words, and actions will come under full public scrutiny. Every paper she has ever written, every judgment she has rendered and every aspect of her life will be dissected in search of the “real” Sonia Sotomayor. It's my guess that we've already met her.
Now ask yourself this question: If I were granted such an honor, would the decisions and choices that I have made over time ruin my chances?
Live your life in such a way that when all of your hard work leads you to a path more intricate than you could ever have imagined, no one or nothing, can stand in your way.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Play Your Position
In some way we can all relate to the feeling of being reluctant to trust others with something that is precious to us. Whether it is a child, a pet, a material possession, or an idea, each of us, young or old, has had the experience at some time or another. I think it’s important for all of us to retrain ourselves to trust others to help us navigate through life because no one is equipped to get through it alone. Now, I am not suggesting that you leave your child or pet in the care of a stranger without employing the necessary screening process; nor do I endorse giving the car keys of your 2010 vehicle to your teenager who has just passed the road test. However, in order for your ideas and dreams to come to life, you will need the help of others.
All too often we try and do too much because we don’t think that other people can do it as well as we can, or we think they won’t have the same level of enthusiasm as we do, or that somehow, they will be unable to understand or interpret our intent. For some, it’s something a little more problematic—the fear that the credit will go to someone else. Leadership guru John C. Maxwell said it best: “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.” Let it go…even a brain surgeon has a team. When you want to accomplish something of importance, don’t let your ego get in the way. Maxwell also tells us that “The goal is more important than the role.”
Think about this: The New York Yankees are one of the best teams in the major leagues. Year after year they are considered the team to beat. They have some of the best players in the league including Mariano Rivera. Mariano Rivera is the team’s closer. If it’s the bottom of the eighth and the Yankees have the lead, the last thing that the opposing team wants to see is Mariano Rivera stepping up to the pitchers mound. Teams know that their chances of scoring when he’s pitching are slim to none. However, you won’t see Mariano pitching in the first inning and if he steps up to bat, no one is expecting much. There are others on the team who are counted on to fill those shoes. The point here is it takes collaboration to get the win.
Find out where you fit on the team and play your position to the greatest of your abilities. For through your actions others can be inspired to be and do their best. Remember, some will hit, some will bunt, some will walk, some will strike out, but it is the team approach that will carry each of us to victory.
All too often we try and do too much because we don’t think that other people can do it as well as we can, or we think they won’t have the same level of enthusiasm as we do, or that somehow, they will be unable to understand or interpret our intent. For some, it’s something a little more problematic—the fear that the credit will go to someone else. Leadership guru John C. Maxwell said it best: “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.” Let it go…even a brain surgeon has a team. When you want to accomplish something of importance, don’t let your ego get in the way. Maxwell also tells us that “The goal is more important than the role.”
Think about this: The New York Yankees are one of the best teams in the major leagues. Year after year they are considered the team to beat. They have some of the best players in the league including Mariano Rivera. Mariano Rivera is the team’s closer. If it’s the bottom of the eighth and the Yankees have the lead, the last thing that the opposing team wants to see is Mariano Rivera stepping up to the pitchers mound. Teams know that their chances of scoring when he’s pitching are slim to none. However, you won’t see Mariano pitching in the first inning and if he steps up to bat, no one is expecting much. There are others on the team who are counted on to fill those shoes. The point here is it takes collaboration to get the win.
Find out where you fit on the team and play your position to the greatest of your abilities. For through your actions others can be inspired to be and do their best. Remember, some will hit, some will bunt, some will walk, some will strike out, but it is the team approach that will carry each of us to victory.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Lights...Camera...ACTION
It’s easy to get so consumed with our own challenges and setbacks that we forget to take the time to help those around us. Likewise, we can get so caught up in our dreams, aspirations and triumphs that we miss the opportunity to encourage and support the people we care about. When I stop to think about it, the amount of times that someone has encouraged me with their words or actions is immeasurable. Sometimes it made a difference in my day, others, a difference in my life.
It’s ok to focus on you but it’s just as important to step out of the spotlight from time to time and see who’s working the equipment. There are many co-stars, stagehands, and extras in this production called life and each of us can appreciate a little pat on the back from time to time. When we start to focus on someone or something other than ourselves, we become better for it. For even the smallest of deeds carried out in sincerity result in some form of personal growth. This growth occurs despite the fact that the gesture was selfless and without expectation.
So for the remainder of the week here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to pay close attention to those around me (strangers, acquaintances, friends, and relatives). Every day I am going to tell a different person something positive that I may have thought but didn’t say clearly or often enough. It might be as simple as “I love you” or as difficult as “I forgive you.” It might be as quick as “love your lipstick” or “that’s a really nice tie” as I carry out my daily routine. I’m going to help someone see their greatness by telling them what I see when I point the spotlight in their direction. For the rest of this week, I’m going to look for opportunities to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.” I’m going to give out more hugs this week than usual and spare some change to those who appear less fortunate without questioning their motive. I’m going to make a few calls just to say “hello” instead of using the new and impersonal means of communication. I’m also going to say “thank you” to some of the difference makers in my life. This week, I’m going to encourage someone to dream or not to give up on a dream. It would be great if all who read the blog would do the same. Are you in?
It’s ok to focus on you but it’s just as important to step out of the spotlight from time to time and see who’s working the equipment. There are many co-stars, stagehands, and extras in this production called life and each of us can appreciate a little pat on the back from time to time. When we start to focus on someone or something other than ourselves, we become better for it. For even the smallest of deeds carried out in sincerity result in some form of personal growth. This growth occurs despite the fact that the gesture was selfless and without expectation.
So for the remainder of the week here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to pay close attention to those around me (strangers, acquaintances, friends, and relatives). Every day I am going to tell a different person something positive that I may have thought but didn’t say clearly or often enough. It might be as simple as “I love you” or as difficult as “I forgive you.” It might be as quick as “love your lipstick” or “that’s a really nice tie” as I carry out my daily routine. I’m going to help someone see their greatness by telling them what I see when I point the spotlight in their direction. For the rest of this week, I’m going to look for opportunities to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.” I’m going to give out more hugs this week than usual and spare some change to those who appear less fortunate without questioning their motive. I’m going to make a few calls just to say “hello” instead of using the new and impersonal means of communication. I’m also going to say “thank you” to some of the difference makers in my life. This week, I’m going to encourage someone to dream or not to give up on a dream. It would be great if all who read the blog would do the same. Are you in?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Begin Where You Are
Most of us are guilty of thinking that we are not living up to our true potential because of something that is beyond our reach. In our quiet time we think to ourselves “If only I had…” “If only I did…” “If only I knew then what I know now.” Well those thoughts, or excuses, are our self-written permission slips for a trip to mediocrity. Those statements seem to support the idea that we are subjected to an average life, with average relationships, and average achievements simply because of how we lived “yesterday.” I beg to differ. I think we get what we expect in life. When our experiences change, we may expect more. This is a good thing—no matter when it happens. But whenever it happens, it should be accompanied by a willingness to do more. The life we dream of is always within reach. It’s just a matter of embarking on a relentless pursuit of your goals.
The hardest part is getting started. We spend so much time thinking about why starting where we are cannot work. We decide that we are not willing to do the hard stuff because either we’re too old, too young, too slow or it’s just too late. Well, that’s too bad. Too bad that we miss a world of opportunity because we’re convinced that we’ve already received our ration of life and have to make the best of what we were given. Well, my friends, life is not a soup kitchen, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can get as much from life as you’d like, but no one is going to bring it to the table for you, you’ve got to go get it! Begin where you are, but begin. Be thankful for what you have and what you have accomplished, but remember that as a deed is done, it is in the past. The future is built by those who are not satisfied with one goal achieved or one dream realized. It is built by those who continue to work knowing that there is more to be achieved. For as long as we are alive there is work to be done, new dreams to be dreamed, and new goals to be reached.
So no more excuses about why you can’t achieve more, and no more pity parties about why you are stuck in a rut. No more accepting life’s rations. She doesn’t give much to anyone. Pry her fingers open and take what’s due you! Assess your situation and make the changes necessary to live the life you want to live.
The hardest part is getting started. We spend so much time thinking about why starting where we are cannot work. We decide that we are not willing to do the hard stuff because either we’re too old, too young, too slow or it’s just too late. Well, that’s too bad. Too bad that we miss a world of opportunity because we’re convinced that we’ve already received our ration of life and have to make the best of what we were given. Well, my friends, life is not a soup kitchen, it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can get as much from life as you’d like, but no one is going to bring it to the table for you, you’ve got to go get it! Begin where you are, but begin. Be thankful for what you have and what you have accomplished, but remember that as a deed is done, it is in the past. The future is built by those who are not satisfied with one goal achieved or one dream realized. It is built by those who continue to work knowing that there is more to be achieved. For as long as we are alive there is work to be done, new dreams to be dreamed, and new goals to be reached.
So no more excuses about why you can’t achieve more, and no more pity parties about why you are stuck in a rut. No more accepting life’s rations. She doesn’t give much to anyone. Pry her fingers open and take what’s due you! Assess your situation and make the changes necessary to live the life you want to live.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Letting Go in Order to Grow
I’m guessing everyone can relate to the “toxic relationship” scenario. Let me explain for those who are not sure what I’m talking about. Well, you have this friend, relative, significant other, etc. who you care deeply about, but who always seems to have a crisis. You find yourself lending emotional support, giving advice, and helping the person to get their life in order only to find that somehow they end up back in the same hole that you helped to dig them out of.
Can’t relate to that? O.K. how about the person who judges your relationship based on a personal score card that you only get to view when they decide that you are not living up to their standards? You know the type right? “I called you last” “You took so long to get back to me” “Why haven’t you called?” “You never…” “I always…” Well you get the picture right? No? Well let’s try this one—you have some major accomplishment in your life that you want to share with those in your inner circle. You share it with this person and they don’t seem happy for you. They are cold and can hardly muster up the enthusiasm to extend congrats.
How about the person who doesn’t share any helpful information with you until after the fact? Let’s say you decide to open a lemonade stand. You share the good news with this person and ask for feedback. They give you the obvious “you’re going to need lemons, water, sugar, cups and a stand” answer. After you do all of the research and get constructive feedback from others in your inner circle, this person checks in to see how things are going. You share the ups and downs but still they have no advice only words of discouragement. Once you’re up and running, you learn that they’ve decided to open an orange juice stand and they have all of these connections and information that they have somehow stumbled upon. Of course, they never mentioned they were going to be opening an orange juice stand. Get it? If you still aren’t getting it, you’re extremely fortunate not to have this type of person in your circle.
For the rest of us who either have been in a toxic relationship in the past or are smack dab in the middle of one right now, it can be the most oppressive feeling ever. You see, when you care about someone, it’s easy to overlook their insecurities and petty jealousies. It’s also easy to give and expect nothing in return. The problem is there are only two types of energy, negative and positive. In order to live your best life and actualize your dreams you have to surround yourself with positivity. You need to be surrounded by people who have your best interest at heart. Positive relationships are reciprocal. Both parties want the best for each other, respect each other and support each other. Relationships aren’t always equal. I find that in some relationships I give more and in others I receive more. In those that I give more, I don’t feel used or burdened. In those that I receive more, I’d guess the other party doesn’t feel used or burdened either. If you feel used or burdened, or if you feel like you can’t live up to the other persons relationship expectations, it might be a toxic relationship. Does that mean that the other person is not a good person? Not necessarily. It could just mean that the relationship is not good for you. I think when you identify a toxic relationship, you get rid of it. Steve Harvey said it best—“Everybody who came with you can’t go with you.” There are some people that you have to remove from your inner circle for your own well-being and growth, and sometimes, for theirs.
Can’t relate to that? O.K. how about the person who judges your relationship based on a personal score card that you only get to view when they decide that you are not living up to their standards? You know the type right? “I called you last” “You took so long to get back to me” “Why haven’t you called?” “You never…” “I always…” Well you get the picture right? No? Well let’s try this one—you have some major accomplishment in your life that you want to share with those in your inner circle. You share it with this person and they don’t seem happy for you. They are cold and can hardly muster up the enthusiasm to extend congrats.
How about the person who doesn’t share any helpful information with you until after the fact? Let’s say you decide to open a lemonade stand. You share the good news with this person and ask for feedback. They give you the obvious “you’re going to need lemons, water, sugar, cups and a stand” answer. After you do all of the research and get constructive feedback from others in your inner circle, this person checks in to see how things are going. You share the ups and downs but still they have no advice only words of discouragement. Once you’re up and running, you learn that they’ve decided to open an orange juice stand and they have all of these connections and information that they have somehow stumbled upon. Of course, they never mentioned they were going to be opening an orange juice stand. Get it? If you still aren’t getting it, you’re extremely fortunate not to have this type of person in your circle.
For the rest of us who either have been in a toxic relationship in the past or are smack dab in the middle of one right now, it can be the most oppressive feeling ever. You see, when you care about someone, it’s easy to overlook their insecurities and petty jealousies. It’s also easy to give and expect nothing in return. The problem is there are only two types of energy, negative and positive. In order to live your best life and actualize your dreams you have to surround yourself with positivity. You need to be surrounded by people who have your best interest at heart. Positive relationships are reciprocal. Both parties want the best for each other, respect each other and support each other. Relationships aren’t always equal. I find that in some relationships I give more and in others I receive more. In those that I give more, I don’t feel used or burdened. In those that I receive more, I’d guess the other party doesn’t feel used or burdened either. If you feel used or burdened, or if you feel like you can’t live up to the other persons relationship expectations, it might be a toxic relationship. Does that mean that the other person is not a good person? Not necessarily. It could just mean that the relationship is not good for you. I think when you identify a toxic relationship, you get rid of it. Steve Harvey said it best—“Everybody who came with you can’t go with you.” There are some people that you have to remove from your inner circle for your own well-being and growth, and sometimes, for theirs.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Living Without a Dream
I woke up this morning and realized that I didn’t have a dream last night. Now for most people this is probably no big deal; certainly, it wouldn’t be the topic of their blog. However, for me, it’s a rare night that I don’t have multiple dreams. I can go from trying to get away from an alligator to getting ready to eat the most amazing dish and suddenly wake up grateful to be alive or aggravated that I didn’t get to eat the food. One night I’m using every ounce of strength in me to fight off an attacker, another I’m at a party with friends having the time of my life. Some dreams seem to have a lot of meaning, others are just downright weird. The point is it’s pretty rare for me not to have a dream.
Likewise, in my conscious state, I’ve always had dreams. I think that having dreams are very important. It’s like possessing a treasure map, if you know what you’re looking for, it’s a lot easier to figure out how to get it. Anyway, this morning I thought about not having a dream for a moment, and continued on with my day. This afternoon it crossed my mind again, only this time with another thought. What if I didn’t have any conscious dreams? There are countless people, young and old, who don’t know what they want to do with their lives. They go to school everyday, work a 9 to 5, stay at home to care for their children or elderly parents, but they long for a passion, they wish they had a dream to pursue. So, what should a person do if they don’t have a dream? Here’s what I think:
I think that in the subconscious, my dreams are quite often connected to my experiences. If I saw something on television, talked about someone or something earlier that day, or read a book that caused me to visualize certain images, I find I am more likely to dream about something related to either one, or a combination, of those things. Likewise, I believe if you are struggling to connect with your true purpose, can’t seem to find inspiration, or constantly deal with the fact that you just don’t have a dream, then you need to change your experiences. Make a conscious effort to do something out of the ordinary at least once a day. Volunteer with a local charity, read a book/news article or watch a channel that you wouldn’t usually find interesting. Take a course or training--academic or leisure. Talk to someone you’ve known for a long time but haven’t spoken to in a while. Spark up a conversation with someone who is a part of your daily life that you’ve never had a conversation with before. Ask people who know you well what they think would be your ideal job based on how they see your personality. Spend at least twenty minutes each day thinking about your purpose. Write down your likes and dislikes. Reflect on your experiences of the day and see if anything jumps out at you. Interact with the world around you in a new way. Eventually, you will find your passion. I dare you to learn to dream. Are you up for the challenge?
Likewise, in my conscious state, I’ve always had dreams. I think that having dreams are very important. It’s like possessing a treasure map, if you know what you’re looking for, it’s a lot easier to figure out how to get it. Anyway, this morning I thought about not having a dream for a moment, and continued on with my day. This afternoon it crossed my mind again, only this time with another thought. What if I didn’t have any conscious dreams? There are countless people, young and old, who don’t know what they want to do with their lives. They go to school everyday, work a 9 to 5, stay at home to care for their children or elderly parents, but they long for a passion, they wish they had a dream to pursue. So, what should a person do if they don’t have a dream? Here’s what I think:
I think that in the subconscious, my dreams are quite often connected to my experiences. If I saw something on television, talked about someone or something earlier that day, or read a book that caused me to visualize certain images, I find I am more likely to dream about something related to either one, or a combination, of those things. Likewise, I believe if you are struggling to connect with your true purpose, can’t seem to find inspiration, or constantly deal with the fact that you just don’t have a dream, then you need to change your experiences. Make a conscious effort to do something out of the ordinary at least once a day. Volunteer with a local charity, read a book/news article or watch a channel that you wouldn’t usually find interesting. Take a course or training--academic or leisure. Talk to someone you’ve known for a long time but haven’t spoken to in a while. Spark up a conversation with someone who is a part of your daily life that you’ve never had a conversation with before. Ask people who know you well what they think would be your ideal job based on how they see your personality. Spend at least twenty minutes each day thinking about your purpose. Write down your likes and dislikes. Reflect on your experiences of the day and see if anything jumps out at you. Interact with the world around you in a new way. Eventually, you will find your passion. I dare you to learn to dream. Are you up for the challenge?
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Live Your Dream
Today is the anniversary of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. With Life Magazine’s publishing of photographs taken after his death, photographs that have not been previously published, there is sure to be an even greater emphasis on his death today. However, I think it best to focus on his life and his legacy. For, although his life was taken way too soon, Dr. King did something that many people never have a chance to do—he lived. Oh what a tragedy to die without having ever lived.
I think that a lot of people spend their time on earth merely existing. Fear of the uncertain causes them to live a mediocre life, a life that requires no great challenges and no major risks. People who accept mediocrity rarely go out on a limb. They dream, but not in color. They are unwilling to leave what they perceive as their comfort zone, even if they find it uncomfortable.
Dr. King found a cause worth dying for. He found something that he was passionate about and committed himself, his whole self, with enthusiasm, hope, determination, an uncanny sense of urgency and a focused sense of purpose. Not only did Dr. King have a dream, he took the necessary actions to make his dream a reality. No, he didn’t live to see his dream fulfilled, but he found, and lived, his purpose. We get to live his dream.
We have no idea how much time we have left in the game of life. That’s why we have to act on our dreams now. It’s not enough to have a dream or to have a plan, everyone dies with a plan. What if we all did something today to put our plans in motion? What if today we all dreamed in color?
Today is a great day. It’s the first day of the rest of our lives. What contributions are you going to make to the world? What’s going to be your legacy? Who will be inspired by the life you lived?
Don’t let your dreams die with you.
I think that a lot of people spend their time on earth merely existing. Fear of the uncertain causes them to live a mediocre life, a life that requires no great challenges and no major risks. People who accept mediocrity rarely go out on a limb. They dream, but not in color. They are unwilling to leave what they perceive as their comfort zone, even if they find it uncomfortable.
Dr. King found a cause worth dying for. He found something that he was passionate about and committed himself, his whole self, with enthusiasm, hope, determination, an uncanny sense of urgency and a focused sense of purpose. Not only did Dr. King have a dream, he took the necessary actions to make his dream a reality. No, he didn’t live to see his dream fulfilled, but he found, and lived, his purpose. We get to live his dream.
We have no idea how much time we have left in the game of life. That’s why we have to act on our dreams now. It’s not enough to have a dream or to have a plan, everyone dies with a plan. What if we all did something today to put our plans in motion? What if today we all dreamed in color?
Today is a great day. It’s the first day of the rest of our lives. What contributions are you going to make to the world? What’s going to be your legacy? Who will be inspired by the life you lived?
Don’t let your dreams die with you.
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