A Matter of Time...

“It seems like it was just yesterday.” “Time sure does fly.” “Time brings on change.” “I don’t know where the time has gone.” These are phrases we all know too well. But lately, I’ve really been thinking about time. How fast it passes, how much it changes, and how much it’s taken for granted. It seems like just yesterday I was a teenage girl coping with the death of one of my dearest friends. In that moment, tomorrow didn’t matter. Yesterday was all I could hope for. I remember naming my friend’s daughter. I haven’t seen her since our falling out just before her wedding… I wonder if her daughter knows my name. I remember being so excited to bottle feed my nephew. I’d examine his little fingers and toes while shaking him gently. Now he’s old enough to drink, he’s twenty-one. Five, four, three, twenty one…I remember playing that jump rope game with all of my friends in the double building. That was twenty five to thirty years ago, way back when Filippo Totti jeans and travel fox were in style. That takes me back to when Coca-Cola shirts, Spotbilts, Suspenders, “Yo Baby Yo Baby Yo…Good to Go” sweatshirts and acid washed everything were the fashion trends.

I remember the excitement of graduating from high school, going off to college, and turning 18. I remember when I thought that being 18 was being grown. Now I’m older and I know better.It seems like just yesterday I gave birth to a ten pound baby boy—after forty six hours of labor. Those 2,760 minutes seem so insignificant when compared to the sixteen years of watching him grow. Oh how time flies! Yes, I remember when my boyfriend had a high top fade, and then a bald fade. Now he’s my husband and he’s rockin’ a baldy. Yep…time brings on a change. I remember when my mother would break my neck if I said anything with the wrong tone, or the wrong choice of words. Now, her grandchildren can do no wrong. I remember when I was worried because my toddler wasn’t talking. Now he’s seven and learning a second language. A minute ago, I was changing his diaper, now he's closing the door on my nose for privacy. Sadly, I remember when my sister called to tell me that my brother had been killed. I felt like a part of me died the second she told me. That was five years ago and I’m still here...life goes on. I can't fprget the 1994 New York Knicks. Who could forget? “Go New York, Go New York, Go…” Was that really ’94? Yep. Indeed it was. I remember being upset whenever I got I.D.’d at a club or at a bar. Now I’m aggravated if they don’t ask for it. It seems like just yesterday that my mom was referring to me as her “baby girl.” Well ok…that was yesterday.

Seriously though, where has the time gone? It’s as if I blinked and people changed, the world changed, and more importantly, my prospective changed. So many things that seemed important twenty years ago are irrelevant now. So many things that happened that seemed to bring my world to a complete halt have become easier to live with…or without. Sure, there have been missed opportunities, mistakes, even regrets. But at the end of the day, I survived. There’s a lot that changes, but life goes on.

With that in mind, I’m going to work on enjoying the moment and not taking anything or anyone for granted. I’m going to work on letting go of things that won’t matter twenty years from now…and those that shouldn’t matter tomorrow. I’m going to take care of those things that matter as if they won’t be here tomorrow. After all, tomorrow isn’t promised...and death has a way of making life choices seem so insignificant. I’m going to work on making every experience meaningful and memorable. Life has no do-overs. Mike said it best…”This is it.” Contrary to popular belief, thirty is not the new twenty, and forty ain’t nothin’ but the old thiry-nine. So I plan to live my life like it’s golden…’cause it’s all I have--and every day, I’m running out of time.

My best friend gave me a watch for my birthday and she wrote in the card that I should take “time” for me. You know…that’s exactly what I intend to do!