When you think about “forgiving” you probably immediately
think of a person who has wronged you.
The idea of forgiving the person (or persons) may bring on feelings of
guilt too—especially when the person wants your forgiveness, but you can’t seem
to move beyond your indignation. Sometimes trying to explain why you can’t
forgive to someone else is even more difficult…because you actually have to hear
how petty or illogical your rationale sounds.
In some cases, forgiveness is a challenge because of painful memories or
scars (physical or mental). These can be
tough to overcome.
We all struggle with the notion of forgiving, sometimes choosing
to embrace it, other times deciding to dismiss it. The decision is always personal—no one can
make you forgive. I am not writing to
try and change that either. However, I
will share that I learned the importance of forgiving the hard way. When I was a teenager, I lost my dearest
friend in a car accident. At the time I
was not speaking to her because of something that was so irrelevant but seemed
reason enough at the time. When I
received the news that she had been in a car accident, I pleaded with God to
spare her life. I begged for one more opportunity
to tell her that I loved her. I never
got that opportunity. I was
devastated. You see, it had never occurred
to me that we wouldn’t have the chance to make amends. We were 18…we had so many years ahead of
us. That’s what I thought, but I was
wrong. As a result of that experience, I have always asked myself an important question whenever the issue of forgiveness is on the table. I reflect on the person who I am upset with and I ask myself this: If something were to happen that resulted in the death of this person, would it matter to me? Would I wish that I had handled the situation differently? If I can’t say “No” then I have to let it go. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you can live with the decision because pleading, begging, and bargaining with God will not turn back the hands of time.
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