Imagine (A poem suitable for Black History Month)

I thought I'd share a poem I wrote several years ago. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Imagine

Imagine if the odds were against you at conception, simply because of the color of your skin.
Imagine if you had to fight a battle, but no one really expected you to win.
Imagine being given second hand tools and asked to carve your future, without fully understanding your past.
Imagine if you deserved first place, but always had to settle for last.
Imagine being called to complete an ambiguous task and learning that others faltered in their quest.
Imagine if you gave your all, but could never be more than second best.
Imagine inheriting the responsibility of ancestors, who fought to secure your place.
Imagine what it’s like to be born indebted to your entire race.
Imagine looking for your history, but not finding it in the book you’re required to read.
Imagine if your lineage were a mystery that you had to solve in order to succeed.
Imagine being told you could soar, but learning you could only go so far.
Imagine if you exceeded every expectation, but someone always raised the bar.
Imagine being taken from your country, to a place where the customs are not your own.
Imagine giving away all that you’ve worked for, and never reaping what you’ve sown.
Imagine having intelligence beyond measure but being denied the chance to grow.
Imagine caring for your enemy; imagine being raped by your foe.
Imagine giving birth to children and being forced to relinquish parental rights.
Imagine starting a revolution only to find you couldn’t win the fight.
Imagine if you mastered your native language, but were forced to speak in another tongue.
Imagine daily torture and mental anguish; imagine being lashed until you’re numb.
Imagine if you could be killed just for reading, because education was not allowed.
Imagine if you were used for breeding, or sold to the highest bidder in the crowd.
Imagine if you prepared a feast for others, but had to make your meal with the scraps they gave.
Imagine if the Queen of the Earth was your mother, but you had to live and die a slave.
Imagine risking everything, just for the chance to be free.
Now imagine, just imagine, what change means to me.

Melanie Geddes, written February, 2003

Happy New You!!!

Remember the Etch A Sketch? It was a very popular toy when I was younger and although various companies have expanded the concept and created newer versions, it is still in toy stores today. It’s square in shape, red framed with a white knob on each side of the frame and a grayish area in which to explore your artistic abilities. In order to “draw” you have to turn the knobs strategically and accept the fact that you can never lift the drawing mechanism. Therefore, there are no separations in your design…everything is connected. I loved the Etch A Sketch, but must admit, it was one of the most frustrating toys ever made. Each time I decided to use the Etch A Sketch, I’d start with an idea in mind. I’d position the drawing mechanism to the spot that I wanted it to be in and start turning. In my head, I was prepared to produce a masterpiece, but what I saw on the screen was never what I intended. So, if you’ve ever used an Etch A Sketch, you will understand that I spent a lot of time shaking it up. For those of you who aren’t familiar or simply can’t remember, that’s how you “erase” what you created. To add to the frustration, you couldn’t erase just a part of the design, it was all or nothing. So playing with the Etch A Sketch was an early lesson in Starting Over. I’d like to say that after so many attempts I was eventually able to draw a memorable picture…or at least write my name in cursive (anything other than straight lines proved to be quite a fiasco) but that is so far from the truth.

Although sometimes it feels like there is only one way to do something; that is a myth that we create when the other options seem more difficult than the challenge we are facing. We keep working on the same picture, drawing the same crooked lines, and taking those long pauses to try and figure out if there’s something else we can do to salvage what we thought would be our masterpiece. We reach the point where we are no longer satisfied or happy with what we are doing, but we just keep going, thinking that there is no other way. Truth be told, we hate what we’ve created but lack the courage to start over. Well not this year! This year, I challenge you to really Shake It Up. Start over and get it right. If something isn’t working in your life, it’s time to take a new direction. Thank God our lives are not boxed in like the Etch A Sketch! We can separate the good from the bad. We can build on our successes and learn from our mistakes. We can keep what is working and get rid of what isn’t. We can start where we want and go in any direction we choose.

It’s a new year, no more corny resolutions. It’s time for meaningful changes. It’s time for self evaluation and personal commitments that don’t have to be made aloud, aren’t obligatory, trendy, unrealistic, or based on you looking over somebody else’s fence. Take an honest look at your Relationships, Spirituality, Health, Career, and other aspects of your life and change what isn’t working. No more confining yourself to the existing boxes...redefine yourself and your expectations. It’s a new day, a new year, a new you…a Happy New You.

Avatar...a Dream Come True

Last weekend I saw the movie Avatar. The running time is nearly three hours but it certainly didn’t feel like I was in the theater for that long. To be honest, it wasn’t a movie that I would have chosen to see, but the family voted and I was outnumbered. So, as usual, I took one for the team. That’s what moms do. So, I went there with minimal expectations. In fact, I was prepared to get in a comfortable position, strategically place my hair in front of my eyes, pull my little blanket up around my neck and catch up on some much needed z’s. Well, that never happened. The movie was fantastic. The storyline was great, the characters were memorable, it was loaded with action, the graphics and special effects were amazing! Best of all, it was a love story. There was something in the movie to captivate each one of us. Now that’s what I call a “family meal deal!”
Ok, I’m beginning to sound like a movie reviewer so I’ll try to get to the point. Well, after seeing the movie, I went back and looked at some of the interviews with the director, James Cameron. In one of the interviews Mr. Cameron said that he had created the blue alien-like characters decades ago. The screenplay was complete way back when he racked up all those Oscar awards for the movie “Titanic.” So, one might ask “why did he wait so long to make the movie?” Get this: Mr. Cameron says that there was no way to create what he envisioned for the movie…the technology simply did not exist. In a nutshell he’s saying that the world wasn’t ready for his dream. Instead of shortchanging himself by settling for less, he waited, and waited, and waited. While he waited, he worked on other projects, talked with people who could understand and support his vision, and studied his craft so that he would be able to make a cutting-edge movie when the time was right. That was ten years ago. Avatar was in production for over four years. Some of us don’t want to wait four months to realize our dreams!
If you have a dream that you truly believe in don’t let anything stand in your way…not even reality. Anything is possible. Don’t be in a hurry to actualize your dream. Sometimes, your dream is so big that even you have trouble believing it is meant to be anything more. Guess what? If you don’t believe it, no one else will. On the flip side, Mr. Cameron didn’t stop living trying to make it happen. He continued to work on other things, and in the process won some Oscars. That means that he put in an amazing amount of hard work to do those things that may not have been as important to him as Avatar. Nonetheless, he realized that if you are going to do anything, you should do it well…or don’t do it at all.
So keep your day job (at least for now.) Do your job to the best of your ability. You are there for a reason. Don’t be so self-indulged that you stop seeing the people around you. It’s the people who you meet that will help you to get your big dream off the ground. You’ll get confidence, feedback, advice and referrals that you may never have received had you not traveled the road you’re on. You’ll even get criticized—and sometimes it will help you to sharpen your vision. Other times, it will help you to realize who’s really in your corner. Your dream is not one to be put on the back burner and left to scorch, but you may have to put it on a low simmer and keep stirring slowly and adding a few spices here and there until it’s just right. Whatever you do, don't stop stirring and don't leave it there too long!

How Do You Measure Up?

It seems like just yesterday I was standing in my family room with tear-filled eyes singing “Here I am baby…signed sealed delivered I’m yours!” Not only had I had an opportunity to witness history, I got the chance to help make history by campaigning and voting for President Barack Obama. I can remember feeling so excited that night. Although I felt he had a good chance of winning, I kept thinking about those hanging chads that kept Al Gore out of the White House. What I quickly learned was that when you commit yourself to a goal or purpose whole heartedly, destiny will meet you half way. It is not enough to expect greatness (even though belief and expectation are necessary,) you have to put in the work that is required to reach the goal. Destiny is chauffer driven to your door by Work. The greater the effort, the greater the success.

Often I talk to people who are frustrated because they haven’t figured out their true purpose but I believe that sometimes purpose reveals itself after you have began working on something or at something. Seriously, do you think that President Obama knew that he was destined to be the first black president of the United States? I think that he lived a life where mediocrity was unacceptable. I believe that he pursued excellence in all of his endeavors, no matter how small. He understood that opportunity doesn’t always present itself on a silver platter. Sometimes opportunity has to be unearthed with a rusty shovel.

I remember seeing a picture of President Obama after a long day of campaigning. In the picture you could see a big hole in the sole of his shoe. He had literally walked a hole in his shoe in order to meet potential supporters. How many of us have that level of commitment to achieving our goals?

A year has passed since President Obama was elected and a lot of us are measuring his successes and failures over the course of the year. I hear talk about Afghanistan, Iraq, the economy, healthcare, and dozens of other issues that people are judging him on. I’d like to challenge everyone to think about what you have or have not accomplished since the 2008 election. Redefine yourself and your goals. Shake off any self doubt, roll up your sleeves and take control of your future. It’s true that nothing is impossible and I also believe in destiny, but nothing comes to the man who waits and hopes and dreams without any action. If you want something, you’ve got to develop a plan and put in the work to make it happen. There’s gotta be some worn out pumps and some run down heels. If you’re not tired, you’re not working hard enough. So get yourself a theme song and get out there and live your own impossible dream!

An Open Letter to Parents

I am deeply concerned that the parenting role is being reduced and watered down by societal changes and redefined social norms. Some are trading in old school values for an opportunity to either live vicariously through the youth or have simply determined that what was once considered a decent upbringing is no longer relevant. It is not uncommon to see teenage boys with their pants sagging so far below their waistline that they have to hold them in the crotch area or walk with their legs apart in order to keep the pants from falling down. Sadly, it’s no longer uncommon to see these boys walking alongside their parent. Teenage girls are dressing so provocatively that it is difficult to determine if they are on their way to school or just returning home from a long nights work at the local strip club. Embarrassingly, some of their mothers wear and share the same type of attire. The tattoo phenomenon has gotten so far out of hand that teens are getting them to commemorate a sixteenth birthday. In fact, by then many already have at least one other tattoo. Nowadays, you’ll find toddlers with saggy pants, excessive jewelry, and outfits that are too tight, too short, or just too sexy. What messages are we sending these children?

In an age where our children are exposed to negative imagery via television, radio, peers and the like, it is up to parents to establish rules and guidelines of acceptable and appropriate behavior. We should also serve as role models for our children and be an example of the type of parent that they should aspire to be. The truth is, from the day we bring them home from the hospital we begin the process of shaping, molding, and instilling values that they may hold onto for a lifetime.

It seems many parents don’t see harm in dressing up their sons like little gangstas or think it’s cute to put skimpy or tight clothing on their daughters. They don’t seem to realize that children are extremely impressionable and are being influenced by the choices and decisions we make. As the children begin to get a little older and act out negative behaviors, these same parents are alarmed. It’s as if they are surprised to see the outcome. They appear to be totally caught off guard and genuinely disappointed. The question is, why? If you pour cake batter into a heart-shaped pan, you can’t expect it to come out of the oven in the shape of a star. You would have needed to use a star-shaped mold. So why do we expect our kids to be any different?

I remember family gatherings from my childhood years as though they happened yesterday. First and foremost, children were not allowed to participate in adult conversations. The adults limited our exposure to topics and ideas that were not appropriate for children. We did have time to interact with the grownups—most of the time it was through a family game or a talent show. I remember younger cousins reciting their ABC’s and singing songs they learned in school or at church. I distinctly remember going to the front of the room to name all 50 states from memory. Other family members read poetry, played instruments, sang songs or showed off their dance moves (my sister was an expert at “The Hustle” and “The Freak” and I thought I was a master at “The robot.” Good or bad, the adults cheered us on. It was always good, clean, fun. Nothing was “Too hot for TV.” Perhaps there were no “You Tube” moments (at least none that would become viral sensations,) but we didn’t miss anything.

Nowadays, some adults seem to take pride in having their children be able to “Get low” or gyrate and grind the hardest. They look on gleefully while their children sing all the lyrics to a song intended for adults, and are tickled pink to see their son be bop across a room or their daughter switching harder than a grown woman.
I think it’s time for parents to take a page out of the old school parenting handbook and set some standards. Stop being intimidated by your child’s cries that “everybody does it.” The truth is, everybody doesn’t. Stand firm to values and explain why certain behaviors are inappropriate. Perhaps when it really counts and someone tells them that “everybody does it” they will be able to do the same.

Earth Angel

My aunt underwent brain surgery yesterday. This morning my sister called to let me know that she was finally in her room and that by all accounts, the surgery was successful. Oh, did I mention that the surgery took 18 hours? Yes, I said 18 hours…no typo here. Umm, let me add that this is the fourth brain surgery that she has endured. Now close your mouth and lower your brow.
My aunt is an amazing woman. She is definitely a person worth emulating. In our family, most would consider her to be the matriarch. She’s a natural born leader who has a tendency to put the weight of the world on her shoulders and carry it—and she makes it look so easy. She has no children of her own, but so many call her mom. She is one of the most giving people that I have ever met. I don’t think she realizes that she can’t help everyone. Whether financial resources, personal advice, constructive intervention, physical, emotional or spiritual support, she finds a way to give what is needed, when it is needed without seeking acknowledgement or praise for her deeds. She’s the type of person who sees a problem and makes a decision to be the solution. She’s a modern day Mother Teresa. During last year’s presidential campaign there was an ad that received a whole lot of attention…remember the ad that Hillary Clinton put out with the red telephone ringing at 3:00am that asked us who we wanted answering that call??? Well, my aunt is the one that answers the call in our family. She is the very definition of our family name.
So I guess you can just about imagine what yesterday was like for us huh? Pins and needles, that’s the understatement of the century! Of course my aunt had prepped us all for the surgery. She’d given instructions, assigned various people to fill important roles, discussed her will and other related business in the event that the unthinkable had occurred, and tried to assure us that she has lived a great life and was prepared should God decide to call her home. Up until the day of the surgery this natural born leader was still taking care of business and making sure that everyone else would be okay in her temporary absence (temporary absence was all we could fathom.) Even with all the prepping, praying, and positive thinking, we were struggling to get through every hour...it’s tough to remain positive through an 18 hour ordeal. Such an event can certainly help to put a lot of things in perspective. First and foremost, some of the things that we worry about on a day to day basis are really not as important as we think—it’s not brain surgery. Also, we have to take time out to show and tell our loved ones that we love them. We have to cherish every moment because history is made in the blink of an eye. Last but not least, we have to live each day to make a difference in our world so that when we leave this earth, it is indeed a better place for us having been here.
I am grateful that my aunt has been to Heaven’s door four times to interview for the Heavenly Angel position and that God turned her down each time. Not because she is unqualified, but because he has yet to find someone who could fill her current position…Earth Angel. Selfishly, I pray he never will.

When Bowling is More than a Game

I attended the Special Olympics to watch two young women compete in the bowling tournament. I had a great time and would go as far as saying that the experience was quite enlightening to me. From the moment I walked in the door I knew it was going to be a great day. Everyone was excited. Participants were waving and talking to their peers and to people that they had never met—like me. Volunteers were helping with everything from tying shoes to pushing wheelchair bound participants to their lanes.
After the opening ceremony, the participants roared and clapped with excitement. The games had officially begun. I watched as many lanes as I could see and observed the dynamics surrounding each team assigned to those lanes. I think the greatest thing that I saw was that in this setting, they all felt empowered, important, and that they were a part of a special group. They weren’t a group of people who were being looked at for what they couldn’t do, we had gathered to see a group of people compete in a bowling tournament. Today, they were the majority…I was the minority. As I looked down at the lanes I noticed that they were using different techniques to get the ball down the lane. Some were using arrows etched in the flooring as a guide to hit the pin they were trying to knock down, others squatted down and released the ball, there were those who seemed to have a natural flow—they just let the ball go and it glided down the lane to the intended destination, a lot of the bowlers spread their legs and used both hands to roll the ball down the lane, and there were a few, especially those using crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs, who used a special assistive device that allowed them to prop the ball up, line the apparatus up with the pins and push the ball with little or no difficulty. The lesson here is simple. There are many ways to reach your goal. If one doesn’t work, try another.
It seemed that each bowler understood the rules of the game and showed respect for their peers by waiting patiently for them to release their ball before releasing their own. Wait your turn. It’s a basic rule, but sometimes we seem to forget it. I also noticed that the players seemed to be genuinely interested in helping each other. Although it was a competition, they were rooting for one another. They cheered every strike, high fived when an opponent picked up a spare, and patted those on the back who couldn’t seem to keep the ball from going into the gutter. They recognized that even in a competition it’s important to be a good sport. I believe those pats on the back and words of encouragement helped ease the frustrations of a lot of players out there. It was great to see someone who wasn’t doing as well as the others finally bowl a strike and return to a bunch of high fives, applause, and thumbs up. I saw quite a few bowlers today that were either bowling for years or born with a special talent for knockin’ em down. It seemed that almost every ball that they sent down the lane had a magnetic attraction to those pins. But notice that I said “almost every ball.” That’s because every once in a while they’d do the improbable—roll a ball straight down the gutter or barely knock over one pin. Great players throw gutter balls too. Everyone makes mistakes, and there is always room for improvement. Although we should strive for perfection, we have to recognize progress.
At the end of the competition, each bowler made their way to a special seating area that had been set up to celebrate both individual and team success. They were so proud to be seated in the special section. They knew that it was an honor to be honored. All too often we wait for the “ultimate” accomplishment before we celebrate ourselves or tell others how proud we are of them. Unfortunately, we miss the obvious opportunities to tell people how important they are, how much they mean to us, and how their life is making a difference in ours. But I digress…there was a podium equipped with first, second, and third place blocks. There were bunches of balloons and most importantly, there were ribbons with varying colors signifying first through fourth place. I watched a young man jump out of his seat and run to the podium to accept his ribbon. The crowd cheered, his parents shouted his name and his smile extended the entire width of his face. He had trouble standing still because he was so excited. He couldn’t believe that he had taken fourth place. For him, he had achieved something beyond what he thought possible. Today I learned that sometimes fourth place means just as much as first place.
I was famished and the smell of fries and pizza had finally got the best of me. So before leaving, I decided to take on the snack bar. I ordered a hot dog (thinking “what could possibly go wrong with a simple hot dog”)and a soda. As I took the first bite of the hot dog, I looked up to see a woman walk by wearing a t-shirt that said “Label jars, not people.” I smiled and she waved. I took a sip of soda and reluctantly bit another piece of my hot dog as I thought to myself “even the Special Olympics can’t make the food at the bowling alley taste any better.