Are You too Busy to Live?

Often we find ourselves consumed with tasks, appointments, responsibilities, and the day-to-day stresses of work, family, and the like. In our own private world everything seems urgent. Most of the time there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. As a result we scramble to accomplish those things that we consider important and struggle to prioritize our personal to-do lists. At the eleventh hour we might try and shortchange an item or two by giving it less attention than we think it really deserves and still hoping our effort will be good enough. Other items we simply take from the bottom of our list for the day and put it at the top of our list for the next day.

As we nestle beneath the sheets and rest our heads on our pillows, thoughts of tomorrow become a silent nuisance that sometimes causes us to lose sleep. As fast as we can close our eyes and quiet the hysteria in our heads, we are awakened by the dreaded ringing of the alarm clock. We will ourselves to put our feet on the floor, and repeat the sheer madness of the day before. This, my friends, is what we call “life.”

I think it’s important to step out of the routine and humdrum and approach each day with a true sense of purpose. I’m not talking about the completion of an item on a to-do list kind of purpose; I’m talking about the kind of purpose that defines you as a person. The kind of purpose that makes you excited about getting out of bed in the morning and makes you feel complete at the end of the day. Take a moment and think about what would happen if you didn’t wake up tomorrow. Now, is there anything that you are doing that would make it impossible for the world to go on? Probably not.

Since we have established with some degree of certainty that life goes on, I think it’s important that our purpose be connected to carving our names in the tree of life by leaving our own personal mark on the world and the people in it. We should all focus on ensuring that the world is a better place for our having lived in it. Make no mistake; this does not have to be some enormous Mandela-like undertaking. It can be a small act that makes a big difference. Mentor or tutor a child, volunteer at a local community organization, support a cause here or abroad, protest injustice, donate food or clothing to a local church or shelter, go back to school, take an acting class, send a care package to a soldier, work towards that goal that you set for yourself but haven’t gotten around to because it’s too difficult, get out a board game and sit on the floor with your children and play it, let your kids help you cook and then eat dinner at the table as a family. That’s my idea of purpose. That’s what I call living.

The secret of life is that it’s not about what you accumulate materially, that will not last a lifetime. It’s about what you give to others that cements your footprint on life’s walk of fame. So tonight before you crawl into bed, take a moment and think about what you did today that really mattered. For tomorrow is not promised.

I leave you with a quote from the great Ray Charles – “Live each day like it is your last, because one day you are going to be right.”

Remembering a Legend

Two of my most prized possessions during my childhood were my Michael Jackson posters that I purchased with my allowance. They hung prominently on the wall on my side of the room. I was a part of the Pepsi generation…because of Michael. I can remember wishing I had money for one of those Michael Jackson jackets, but settled for a cheap imitation of the glove. I tuned into the television to watch every new video he crafted. The Thriller video solidified my belief that he was amazing! I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to see him make an appearance at an awards show and would stop in my tracks to gaze at his picture on a magazine cover. If that weren’t enough, there was Motown 25—his performance in a word, unforgettable.
To write about him posthumously is quite surreal. For although he was one of the greatest singers to ever hold a microphone, one of the best songwriters to pen a hit record, and the best performer to ever grace a stage, he was the furthest thing from my mind until yesterday. He’d sort of made his way into the recesses of my mind. Don’t get me wrong, if I were surfing the radio for a tune and heard any two notes from Billie Jean, Remember the Times, Man in the Mirror, PYT, Thriller, or any of the other anthems, I’d immediately turn up the volume and sing along while driving. If I were home, I might even throw in a few of the dance moves for good measure. However, I just didn’t have a reason to think about how amazing he really was as an artist.
Michael Jackson the artist was perfection. He wrote songs that had meaning…Beat it, Black or White, Heal the World…I could go on forever. After writing the songs, he sung them with passion. You could feel the emotion that he wanted you to feel. If you don’t believe it, go back and listen to She’s Out of My Life. He didn’t stop there. He put together award winning videos to bring the words of his songs to life. The videos were, and still are, unparalleled. Michael didn’t live on yesterday’s laurels; he kept trying to take his craft to the next level. He wanted to give his fans something new, different, better than before. His work was never a disappointment. If we were all willing to work as hard as Michael, I’m sure we’d be better at whatever it is we are doing.
Sometimes it takes death to make us realize the value of a life. This is one of those times. Legendary, Iconic, Hall of Famer, Greatest of All Time, Musical Genius, these are the words that I will use to describe his life and legacy. I will also remember to say a prayer for those who will remember him as son, father, brother, uncle, and friend.
Rest in Peace Michael.

A Lesson from a Pain in the Neck

Last Wednesday started out pretty normal for me, but by the middle of the day, I found myself in a lot of pain. It was strange because I couldn’t pinpoint what I had done to cause my neck to hurt so badly. I tried massage, bed rest, warm compresses, and pain killers, but nothing seemed to alleviate my discomfort. I had to keep my head in one position because even the slightest turn felt like I was being stabbed in the neck. It would have been much easier if I could have stayed home in bed, but there were responsibilities that required my attention. One of those responsibilities involved me driving. Of course, in order to drive, you have to be able to turn your head from left to right, and you need to be able to look behind when backing out of a parking space. So I did what needed to be done. I tried to move my eyes without moving my neck whenever I could, and only moved my neck when it was absolutely necessary. Whenever I had to move it, I found myself in the kind of pain that makes you talk to yourself and breathe out loud. It was serious.
By Thursday evening, I was regretting that I hadn’t made an appointment to see my physician and beginning to think I’d need to visit an urgent care after hours medical center but I decided to pop two more pain killers and try and sleep it off. When I got up on Friday morning, there were signs of improvement. I could turn my head to the right with little pain. Turning to the left was not as bad either. I’m happy to report that by Saturday night I was back to normal.
Now, guess what I took from that experience? Well here goes: In our lives we all have our own “to do” lists. We are all striving to accomplish our goals. However, there are times when self-doubt creeps in and has us looking for answers in all the wrong directions. We look for someone or something to bail us out of uncomfortable situations. Quite often, we are ready to give up, postpone, or change our goals the minute our comfort zone becomes compromised. We start trying to look back to see if there is still room for us in a more familiar place, even though we know that we’ve outgrown it. We begin to prepare for defeat as soon as one thing doesn’t go according to our plan.
Now imagine how much we could accomplish if we felt like we were being stabbed in the neck whenever we found ourselves looking backwards with regret, or looking around with worry, self-pity and anxiety. Imagine if we were forced to look straight ahead at our goals and focus completely on doing whatever it takes to accomplish them. I don’t know anyone who enjoys pain, so I’d guess that we’d have a lot more people achieving their goals and living their dreams. So, I’m hoping that all who read this will keep looking ahead at their goals. I hope that when they feel hopeless, down and out, or begin to feel like it would be easier to retreat and abandon their dreams, they will be reminded of my pain in the neck. I hope the reminder will help them to quickly get their head back in the right place—focused on the mission ahead. Then my mysterious pain would not have been in vain. Keep your heads up!

Where Will "Amazing" Happen?

Before the playoffs even started, most people had already predicted the teams that would be in The Finals. There was much anticipation for the LeBron – Kobe series. There’s even a series of commercials that feature LeBron and Kobe puppet- like characters (the commercials are pretty funny too.) The Cleveland Cavaliers breezed through the first two rounds of the playoffs in dramatic fashion. They won both of those series without their opponents winning a single game. Their sense of purpose was clear and they repeatedly reminded viewers that they had “One Goal.” Anything short of winning the championship was simply unacceptable. The Cavaliers were featured on every sports channels highlight reel. Their star player, LeBron James, was interviewed or talked about nearly as much as our President. Over in the West, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were making their presence felt and already being considered as the team to beat. The playoffs were just a process, a means to an end…or so we thought.

Cleveland had to play one more team in order to make it to The Finals—The Orlando Magic. Right from the start it was clear that the two teams were equally skilled and that this was not going to be business as usual for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Predictions started going all the way to game 7 in a seven game series. Even still, most people thought the Cavs would win the series. Well, we were wrong. The Orlando Magic played the Cleveland Cavaliers and beat them 4-2 to earn a trip to the Finals. No need for a game seven. Cleveland was devastated. I imagine they were just as surprised as the rest of us. With such an upset, there’s little room for adjustments in TV land. The commercials were already made…and they were working. So although the first game of The Finals has already been played, there is no puppet-like character for Orlando’s star player. I get the feeling he doesn’t mind at all.

What I’d like you to take from this is simple: No matter what people say about you, no matter who thinks you can’t win, no matter what the odds are, you are possible. Ignore statistics that might suggest that you are destined for failure. Don’t worry about people who seem to be bigger, stronger, faster, or better than you. Don’t envy the success of others and don’t stress out because it appears your talents or skills go unnoticed. Keep working your hardest at being your best. Not as good as someone else, not better than the best, just the best that you can be. The fanfare and the limelight mean nothing, if you don’t achieve the goal. LeBron would trade the puppet-like character in a heartbeat for the opportunity to be in The Finals. Perfect your craft. Practice, study, surround yourself with like-minded people, build your confidence… give it everything you’ve got. Silence the naysayers through your actions, not your words. Your dream is achievable. Your goal is within reach.

The NBA has a commercial that ends with this question: Where will “Amazing” happen? So far, it’s happened in Orlando (at least in the eyes of basketball fans.) I’m wondering, where will “Amazing” happen in the “real world?”

Our Choices Determine Who We Become

President Obama announced his nomination for the Supreme Court yesterday. He chose Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Judge Sotomayor’s early years were quite humbling. She lived in the South Bronx in the inner city in the Bronxdale Housing projects; her father died before she reached her teens, and her mother struggled to raise her and her brother. The odds of her graduating from high school were pretty low. Graduating from Princeton University at the top of her class would not even seem statistically probable. Betting on a Puerto Rican girl from the South Bronx becoming a judge who is up for nomination to the US Supreme Court might certainly seem like a shoo-in for the opposer. However, Judge Sotomayor didn’t concern herself with the odds that were stacked against her, she focused on her goals. I doubt that her goal was to become the first Hispanic appointed to the US Supreme Court, but as she worked on the dream of becoming a judge, her expectations and her options changed.

Our purpose is often beyond the realm of what we can imagine, dream or expect. As such, we have to strive for excellence in everything that we do. When we do our best and reach the goals that we have set for ourselves, we have to take a brief moment to reflect with humility on who we were and where we came from, to celebrate who we have become and where we are, then we must look ahead to see who we were born to be and what we have to do to get there. With each step the path gets a little clearer, but clarity is not to be confused with easy or less intricate. The path ahead is never straight, there are always twists and turns and forks in the road that call on us to make the right decisions and choices.

Long ago, when she was a young girl living in a poverty stricken environment, Judge Sotomayor decided that she wanted something better for her future. She found a goal and a dream that she was willing to work towards with a commitment that spanned decades. She did the hard work from day one. She strived for excellence in education. She understood that education was her way out of her situation. Although it wasn’t easy, she chose the path of “excellence”, not the path of “average.”

What she did yesterday matters more today than she could ever have imagined. Her choices, relationships, words, and actions will come under full public scrutiny. Every paper she has ever written, every judgment she has rendered and every aspect of her life will be dissected in search of the “real” Sonia Sotomayor. It's my guess that we've already met her.

Now ask yourself this question: If I were granted such an honor, would the decisions and choices that I have made over time ruin my chances?

Live your life in such a way that when all of your hard work leads you to a path more intricate than you could ever have imagined, no one or nothing, can stand in your way.

Play Your Position

In some way we can all relate to the feeling of being reluctant to trust others with something that is precious to us. Whether it is a child, a pet, a material possession, or an idea, each of us, young or old, has had the experience at some time or another. I think it’s important for all of us to retrain ourselves to trust others to help us navigate through life because no one is equipped to get through it alone. Now, I am not suggesting that you leave your child or pet in the care of a stranger without employing the necessary screening process; nor do I endorse giving the car keys of your 2010 vehicle to your teenager who has just passed the road test. However, in order for your ideas and dreams to come to life, you will need the help of others.

All too often we try and do too much because we don’t think that other people can do it as well as we can, or we think they won’t have the same level of enthusiasm as we do, or that somehow, they will be unable to understand or interpret our intent. For some, it’s something a little more problematic—the fear that the credit will go to someone else. Leadership guru John C. Maxwell said it best: “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.” Let it go…even a brain surgeon has a team. When you want to accomplish something of importance, don’t let your ego get in the way. Maxwell also tells us that “The goal is more important than the role.”

Think about this: The New York Yankees are one of the best teams in the major leagues. Year after year they are considered the team to beat. They have some of the best players in the league including Mariano Rivera. Mariano Rivera is the team’s closer. If it’s the bottom of the eighth and the Yankees have the lead, the last thing that the opposing team wants to see is Mariano Rivera stepping up to the pitchers mound. Teams know that their chances of scoring when he’s pitching are slim to none. However, you won’t see Mariano pitching in the first inning and if he steps up to bat, no one is expecting much. There are others on the team who are counted on to fill those shoes. The point here is it takes collaboration to get the win.

Find out where you fit on the team and play your position to the greatest of your abilities. For through your actions others can be inspired to be and do their best. Remember, some will hit, some will bunt, some will walk, some will strike out, but it is the team approach that will carry each of us to victory.

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It’s easy to get so consumed with our own challenges and setbacks that we forget to take the time to help those around us. Likewise, we can get so caught up in our dreams, aspirations and triumphs that we miss the opportunity to encourage and support the people we care about. When I stop to think about it, the amount of times that someone has encouraged me with their words or actions is immeasurable. Sometimes it made a difference in my day, others, a difference in my life.
It’s ok to focus on you but it’s just as important to step out of the spotlight from time to time and see who’s working the equipment. There are many co-stars, stagehands, and extras in this production called life and each of us can appreciate a little pat on the back from time to time. When we start to focus on someone or something other than ourselves, we become better for it. For even the smallest of deeds carried out in sincerity result in some form of personal growth. This growth occurs despite the fact that the gesture was selfless and without expectation.
So for the remainder of the week here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to pay close attention to those around me (strangers, acquaintances, friends, and relatives). Every day I am going to tell a different person something positive that I may have thought but didn’t say clearly or often enough. It might be as simple as “I love you” or as difficult as “I forgive you.” It might be as quick as “love your lipstick” or “that’s a really nice tie” as I carry out my daily routine. I’m going to help someone see their greatness by telling them what I see when I point the spotlight in their direction. For the rest of this week, I’m going to look for opportunities to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.” I’m going to give out more hugs this week than usual and spare some change to those who appear less fortunate without questioning their motive. I’m going to make a few calls just to say “hello” instead of using the new and impersonal means of communication. I’m also going to say “thank you” to some of the difference makers in my life. This week, I’m going to encourage someone to dream or not to give up on a dream. It would be great if all who read the blog would do the same. Are you in?